‘Lauren’ is a 32-year-old lesbian who has moved with ease across the gender spectrum overthe course of her lifetime. Lauren positive a positive story about how being gender non-normative and having a complicated gender experience can be a pleasant and interesting experience. Cautioning against the heavy and urgent discussions about medicalising gender expression, Lauren wonders if we can become more playful and even joyful about gender?
Links: Lauren’s Blog:
https://theanxiousskeptic.wordpress.com/
Extended Notes
● A little bit about Lauren and her experience with gender.
● The way our society is handling trans children is completely different from when Lauren grew up.
● Lauren feels a bit betrayed by the LGBTQ community.
● What was Lauren’s childhood like?
● How did Lauren’s family deal with her and her older sister’s masculine gender?
● Can you be gay and mormon?
● Lauren was always the good child and her older sister was the problem masculine child. So it threw everyone out for a loop when they found out Lauren was a lesbian, and not her sister.
● When Lauren dressed in drag, she felt much more comfortable in her own body.
● Men’s clothing was just easier to understand and when Lauren took on a more butch persona, it was a lot easier for her to date.
● Lauren was a butch lesbian for about 10 years before switching back to a more ‘feminine’ look.
● In Lauren’s mind, being butch is almost like a third gender.
● At one point, Lauren identified as trans.
● The trans community has really affected the way lesbians see themselves. Lauren knows several people in same-sex relationships have identified as trans at one point in time in her friend group.
● When it came to having children, how did Lauren and her wife decide who should have a child?
● A lot of Lauren’s friends who were butch were transioting, either to a more feminine persona or trans. And she felt like she could not grieve this sense of loss. She just had to be happy for her friends.
● When random people were shouting slurs at Lauren and her wife, it only really started to bother her as she got older and was going to become a parent.
● What’s it like being a mother?
● 11 year olds are being asked if they want to preserve their fertility. It’s crazy.
● Lauren has gone through many different gender identities, and went on to have children. She gets fired up and passionate when young children are forced to ‘choose’.
● We have to think about the long-term wellbeing of children and teenagers first. Not our politics.
● Can we be more playful with our gender? Why do we have to always pick a side?