Goldilocks Syndrome

Why it's important to pull together at this crucial time

We’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t. If we invite certain people to speak then we lose support from people on the political left, who believe that no platforming and cancel culture is an appropriate method of resistance. It's truly regrettable because these individuals are often genuinely good-hearted, with finely tuned moral compasses. But if we refuse to listen to people we disagree with then we will never move out of our self-made echo chambers.

Civilised disagreement is good for us, it engages the brain and reminds us that we don’t all march in lockstep. It makes us seek better solutions. A good conference should challenge our thinking and we hope to do just that in Lisbon. We are bringing together speakers from many different walks of life so that better outcomes can be achieved. If you attend you will hear a range of speakers from Kathleen Stock to Michael Shellenberger. We will hold a live interview with Q&A afterwards with Lionel Shriver, whose most recent novel Mania holds frightening parallels with the trans phenomenon. Julie Bindel will speak about her work with parents. Laura Becker, a detrans woman, will offer her insights. Jennifer Lahl will hold a premiere screening of The Lost Boys. Marcus and Sue Evans will discuss the psychology of gender dysphoria. But the trans phenomenon is not only about psychology and so we will have some speakers explaining about mass formation and how to handle cult-like thinking. Others will focus on how to generate better political policies. Frank Furedi will speak about the influence of the EU. The major premise of the Genspect will be a focus on resolution from the gender mess. We know all the problems; now is the time to seek solutions.

Conferences like this are often productive – especially in this digital age – as something very special happens these days when people meet in the flesh. We smile at one another, we share a joke,  conversations happen, allyship builds, a deeper understanding is often developed. Of course sometimes the complete opposite happens but no matter what, it remains a deeper relationship as a consequence of physically meeting.

I’ve been pretty mystified by the number of people who have felt compelled to contact me and describe in detail how they don’t agree with various speakers on the Genspect programme for Lisbon.  I don’t even agree with everything my husband believes and so I don’t for even a second expect to be on the same page as the many speakers from all walks of life that will speak at the Lisbon conference.

At Genspect we don’t agree with the principle of guilt-by-association as right now the bigger picture feels more important. We believe in the adage ‘accept compromise and keep fighting.’ We are in the middle of an unfolding medical scandal with unimaginable consequences. There are too many vulnerable autistic teenagers scrolling online today, completely transfixed by the idea that they can become a different person with a new name and a new identity. These naïve kids don’t understand the medical risks involved – typically they haven’t reached a level of maturity to properly understand the impact of infertility or loss of sexual functioning. They’re in a rose-tinted bubble, often oblivious to the cold, hard world beyond their bedroom that raises a good deal more challenges than they can conceive. The parents of these kids are worried sick. They can’t get through to their kids – they often feel like they have lost them to an online cult.

In the meantime, the numbers of detransitioned people continue to grow. We run therapeutic support groups in our Beyond Trans programme and the stories from the detransitioners are harrowing. Having sought an external solution for an internal problem, many detransitioners can feel entirely derailed by life after medical transition. Many female detransitioners believe they can never fully return to living as a woman – everywhere they go they are perceived as male by strangers. Their deep voices, masculinised appearance and facial hair give the wrong cues to strangers. When in public female detransitioners often use the men’s toilets because it causes more upset to everyone when they enter the women’s toilets. They also allow themselves to be called he/him by strangers for the same reason and the current intense focus on pronouns makes them feel profoundly uncomfortable.

Until relatively recently I never really understood why history was so complicated. When I was younger I couldn’t fathom why commander-in-chief Eoin MacNeill cancelled the Rising in Ireland on Easter Sunday in 1916. What on EARTH was he playing at? I used to silently seethe. Didn’t he understand that there are times that we need to set our differences aside for a greater cause? But then, until recently, I never really understood how the cultural revolution happened in China, nor did I understand communist Russia came to be nor how the Stasi came to have such power over ordinary people in East Germany.

Now I do, of course. It turns out that our human instinct to believe that they are part of the one-true-way is much more powerful than I ever realised. It’s Goldilocks syndrome playing out again and again. And it has been the ruination of many revolutions and counter-revolutions in history.

Since 1916 in Ireland we have become more accustomed to having strange bedfellows for a larger purpose. Many of us have grown up under the shadow of the Troubles and so we are used to people in the local community groups coming from extremely different positions. I was part of setting up a Gaelscoil (an Irish language school) some years ago. Some of the board were ex-IRA and had served time on hunger strike, others were devoutly Catholic and fervently anti-abortion; others in the group were woke, tree-hugging vegans. We put aside our galactic differences in order to achieve the common goal and the multi-denominational Gaelscoil na Laochra is now thriving. This is a pretty common scenario in Ireland. Our population is so small that we are forced to accept our differences and focus on our commonalities; most of us have learnt the bitter lessons that the Peace Process taught us.

Most of us who work in gender-world simply want everyone to be better informed. Sadly there is little consensus about how we should bring this about. Many – myself included of course – suffer badly from Goldilocks syndrome, where we believe that everyone else is either too cold or too hot but we have our approach just right. It is likely that some among us are correct – if only we could figure out who among us is right.

The times are changing, the medical war is all but won – the systematic reviews have already been carried out and the evidence is finally in. However the capture of the institutions shows us that the gender issue is unlikely to be resolved in the medical field and the culture war is much more significant.

There are many different groups of people who are concerned about the dangers of the recent trans phenomenon. Some, like myself, are most concerned about the risks associated with medicalising vulnerable people’s gender identities. Others are more bothered about the dangers related to men entering women’s spaces. Many others are distressed about the way vulnerable gay, lesbian and homosexual youths are being told that they can somehow become straight through medical transition. Still others are focused on misogyny and feel urgently compelled by the need to protect leftwing feminism. And it goes on – the list of groups of people with skin in this game feels endless.  Some of them are racists and bigots. I wish they weren’t but they are. I believe they are polluting everything and causing trouble everywhere they go. I would still rather address this issue with civilised conversation as I believe no platforming and cancel culture encourage the toxicity to go further underground and become even more violent.  

Those with Goldilocks Syndrome believe that they, just like Goldilocks, have it ‘just right’. They tend to believe that their group not only have the best understanding of the real issues, but they also offer the best approach to deal with it.  Emotions are running high. Most of us have been attacked, vilified, shamed by our peers and colleagues. This makes people defensive and quick to pass on the shame to other people. It’s all very “Do it to Julia” from 1984: “I’m not transphobic, THEY are.”

In truth, none of us are transphobic, It was always a stupid accusation that never made any sense. While homophobia has long been a significant challenge for many, transphobia is a recent concept that has been invented as a weapon to be used to silence people. To be concerned about the fact that biological males are admitted into female prisons isn’t ‘transphobia’ – it’s common sense. And so are the many other concerns people are raising in relation to the trans phenomenon.    

 So what should we do? Should we try to pull together, put aside our differences and seek to reach the general public? Or should we ‘hold the line’ and fight with everyone who isn’t marching in lockstep with us?

If we could just get the facts out into the general domain then the vast majority of people would agree with us. We’ve always had common sense and accuracy on our side. The trans activists have known this and so they ran with the hashtag #NoDebate. But now finally the general public is waking up. In the meantime each group is fighting to propel their way as the best way forward.

This is not the time to crack up and fight amongst ourselves. This is the time to reach back and learn the lessons from history.  The French Revolution in particular comes to mind, when everyone was all about, ‘Liberté, égalité, fraternité,’ until suddenly ‘fraternité’ took a sharp turn  and suddenly Robespierre was faced with the guillotine. This time it’s ‘sororité’ that is more often in question. I remember being very moved and inspired by Jane Clare Jones’  Annals of the Terf Wars and how she urged us to ‘Puuuulllll’. That’s what I would like to do and so, even though we may completely disagree on certain points, we’re inviting speakers from all walks of life to our conference in Lisbon.

Our conference in Lisbon will take place from Friday September 27^th- Sunday September 29^th. You can buy your tickets here: https://genspect.org/the-bigger-picture-lisbon/ . Please let us know if you have difficulty paying the full price for a ticket and we’ll do our best to accommodate you.