Gender as a Communication (It's Not What You Think) with Dr. Maggie Goldsmith
I mentioned this episode in my last Q&A as it very helpful. In this podcast, Maggie Goldsmith returns to continue our conversation about the psychodynamic approach to understanding gender issues
Maggie shares Part 2 of her personal journey, shedding light on how rapid onset gender dysphoria (ROGD) can signal a need for change within the family dynamic. She puts an emphasis on the importance of delving into unconscious processes that shape identity and behaviour. The discussion covers theories about how key developmental stages, such as symbiosis and paranoid schizoid positions, can impact self-perception and relationships. Psychodynamic therapy is highlighted as a tool for deeper exploration, benefiting both the child and their family. Maggie also highlights how parental anxiety can affect the parent-child relationship, so self-care is crucial for both the parent and child's well-being.
Dr. Maggie Goldsmith is the author of the PITT essay “To My Daughter’s Therapist: You Were Wrong”, which was the first essay from the PITT Substack to go viral and put PITT on the map. It can be found in a recently published book that includes 75 essays by parents who have gender questioning children.
Listen here:
I've listened to both of these episodes several times and I'll have another go now. The "I didn't want to be yours anymore" hit especially hard. Sometimes it seems like the natural separation and self-exploration that used to go on has been "blocked" now, and teens need to do something drastic to start individuating. In part because modern parents see the forms of rebellion we participated in ourselves as "tame," and are accepting, but also because of the online world and reluctance to go out and experience the world.
My teens is pleasant to talk to when it comes to her hobbies, but she completely grinds to a halt when it comes to even remotely serious topics. As far as I can get out of her, she has no plans to get a job of any kind yet, and she does not dream of moving out, which concerns me. I'm happy for my adult children to live with me as that is normal where we live, but my plans for the future do not involve supporting my children financially indefinitely.
There's a kind of push-pull dynamic where she wants to lean on me for everything but also reactively rejects anything I say.
Excellent interview