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Jorge O. Well's avatar

Thank you Stella. I know I need to bring joy back into my life. But I have trouble stepping away from gender-land when our factions seem to be small and fragmented. If not me, who? If not now, when? The balance is difficult to find. I wish us all a more joyful and peaceful 2024! Thank you for all you do. You are appreciated more than you will ever know.

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Stella O'Malley's avatar

Thank you very much, best wishes to you for 2024

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MamaBearMe's avatar

Somewhere over the course of last year I realized my obsession with our daughter’s apparent desistance was like one of my mad teenage crushes— the kind where my whole week could be made or lost depending on a smile or a glance aimed in my direction (or not). Our daughter can drop these lines that sound like she is absolutely done with gender. But the binder is still around. I have even wondered if she is torturing me with her ambiguity, just like the unrequited crush. Anyway, when I realized how her illness was trying to take my control away from me, too, I decided to listen to this notion of refinding joy. I took up horseback riding— which I loved as a kid— and that led to joining a fitness program. It’s done wonders for my moods. I have you and Sasha to thank for that! Happy New Year! May huge things happen for all of us in this mess in 2024.♥️

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Stella O'Malley's avatar

That's really good to hear. I reckon horses are extremely therapeutic, well done you! Also, I think the intense, all-consuming crush is a great analogy.

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MamaBearMe's avatar

One day she said she wanted to grow her hair longer and my heart fluttered with joy. I was like, wait, I have felt this feeling before... lol. :)

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Stella O'Malley's avatar

😁😂

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JAW's avatar

Thank you for sharing this. The analogy to Alanon crystallized how this feels so clearly. I have found myself over the last several years struggling to find joy at all in some moments with our daughter. And the moments of progress can be overshadowed so quickly with a comment or destructive behaviors. My fear is that if I don’t obsess, I’ll not see a need for support. At the same time, my ability to parent our other children and live a life of my own gets sidelined. It’s so difficult and it’s these nuggets of reflection that help bring some clarity. Thank you.

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Stella O'Malley's avatar

I know very very well that feeling that if I don’t obsess I’ll miss something. And yet life teaches us time and time again that when we step out of the obsession we sometimes see a completely different perspective and this can be very valuable. Best wishes to you for 2024, I know it can be very difficult xx

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Jane's avatar

Thank you for this Stella, I needed to hear this validation - it’s OK to think of myself rather than my daughter for once. Your voice and accent is wonderful and calming - wishing you a Happy New Year and thank you again.

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Stella O'Malley's avatar

Good! I hope you look after yourself for 2024 xx

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Liz Apfel's avatar

Thank you for your reflective thoughts Stella. They are so comforting and thought provoking. Happy new year.

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Stella O'Malley's avatar

Thank you, best wishes for 2024

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Liz Apfel's avatar

And to you too!

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Jan 1, 2024
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Stella O'Malley's avatar

Go raibh math agat!

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