Reasons why children and young people might identify as trans

So many parents wake in the dark hours of the night agonising over the reasons why their childs want to transition. This post reveals 25 different reasons - please comment below with your own ideas!

Theory 1: The Peter Pan Syndrome

This child had a very happy childhood and has never quite recovered from the brick wall of reality smashing her in the face during early adolescence. When the child was young, home life was nurturing and comfortable and the child felt safe, secure and happy. The child loved Disney and the parents created a sense of magic at Christmas and Easter time. The child believes that if you wish hard enough the wish will come true. The child felt unprepared for her early puberty. Periods were difficult and her breasts developed earlier The expectations of increased independence horrify this child. She regresses mentally and behaviourally, preferring to be emotionally immature, needy and requiring constant adult input. Transitioning allows this child to wish upon a star.

Theory 2: The Symptom Pool Theory

This immature, impressionable child was always vulnerable to every passing fad. The child is keenly interested in social justice issues, Black Lives Matter and trans issues. Prone to hypochondria, he often has psychosomatic symptoms of distress. He feels embarrassed by his white privilege and is almost relieved when he begins to identify as LGBTQ. This creates a special identity for the child and the child feels a strong sense of belonging among his online friends. The child feels disaffected by his privilege family and friends and begins to turn against them. The child avidly follows trans issues and has found his tribe. Transitioning offers this child a clear medical solution to his distress as well as a way to identify out of the oppressor class.

Theory 3: Social contagion Theory

This gentle, shy child has always been impressionable and prone to following her friends’ lead. She and her friends, many of whom have been diagnosed with ASD, are socially awkward and feel happier communicating online. When the leader of her friend group identified as trans, the rest of the group quickly followed suit. Some of her friends identify as trans, while others identify as non-binary, genderfluid and other gender identities. This child spends many hours online fretting over her gender identity. Transitioning offers her a sense of belonging and a way to solidify her feelings.

Theory 4: A Cry for Help

The child was a delicate and anxious child who was raised in a brittle household with challenging intra-familial relationships. Perhaps as a result, the child had difficulty forming and maintaining friendships. She found an identity in being a high-achieving and began to believe that her scholastic ability would heal her family’s wounds. As the school work becomes harder, the pressure to achieve became more difficult and she felt out of control. When puberty arrived the child perceived her own body as out of control. The combination of social awkwardness, school pressure and tension in her body, drove the child to escape into the internet. The symptom pool generated a fixation on trans issues and the child wrongly believed that she was trans as it demonstrates the complexity of her feelings and feels like an answer to all her internal difficulties.

Theory 5: A Need for Control

The child was always highly-strung, obsessive and driven by the need to control. Life felt manageable to the child when she felt life was under control; when her environment was secure and familiar and the rules were clear. As the child developed and puberty hit, life began to feel more complex and less manageable. No longer could the parent ensure that the child’s control needs were met. Friendships fell asunder as the child attempted to control everything. School felt out of control. As an effort to try to control an increasingly complex and what felt like chaotic life, the child began to seek to control her own body. She enjoys the power that is afforded to trans children at school and among her peers. She feels powerful and in control now that she can collaborate with her affirming clinician about her dosage and her medication. Trans-identification provides a clear pathway and organises her inner chaos.

Theory 6: Obsessive-Compulsive Behaviour

This child was always temperamental with obsessive-compulsive tendencies and a family history of anxiety and addiction. She was (or could have been) diagnosed with ruminative OCD as a pre-pubescent child and received therapeutic support to help with this. When the child is adolescent she is perhaps further diagnosed with ASD. She feels socially awkward and retreats online rather than spend time with real life friends. She reads about trans issues online and begins to secretly ruminate about whether she is trans. The child becomes obsessed with her trans identification as another hyper-fixation.

Theory 7: A Need to Feel Special

The child is a perfectly functioning child who feels a bit boring and wishes she were more interesting. When the child half-heartedly identifies as trans she is astonished by how she is elevated by her peers and her family. She is showered with compliments about how brave and stunning she is. She feels empowered by the sudden recognition of her specialness and she becomes almost addicted to the wired elation she feels when she is offered a special status as a result of her trans-identification. Whenever the child suggests that she might not really be trans, she can’t quite bear the disappointed reaction and regresses towards trans identification. Transitioning offers the child special status.

Theory 8: A Need for Power

This child believed that the power was in the hands of the opposite sex. She watched how her sisters and mothers were often dismissed and decided at a young age that she wanted to be a boy. Walking like a boy, acting like a boy, speaking like a boy feels more powerful. The child notes how boys are stronger, have louder voices and have more power. She believes transitioning will provide her with a more powerful existence.

Theory 9: An Innocent Belief that it is a Simple Option

This child has been misinformed and truly believes that she can change sex. She knows about transphobia and so presumes anyone who suggests that she should ‘hasten slowly’ must be transphobic. She isn’t aware that ever cell in her body will always be female and she believes when she gets the right medication she will change into a male. Transitioning is based upon misinformation.

Theory 10: Porn-induced Trans Identification

This child discovered online porn at puberty and was lured into an ever-deeper world of porn. As the porn industry understands the testosterone drive for novelty, the porn sites continuously offer further novelty. Encouraged by the multi-billion porn industry, this child inevitably was continuously offered online fetish-porn and trans-porn. He developed autogynephilic behaviour and some other paraphilias. His desire to trans is a consequence of a porn-induced sexualised motivation.

Theory 11: Groomed online

This child was preyed upon by an older man or men who gave him lots of attention when he felt lonely. Slowly but surely the groomer started to convince the child to behave in a sexualised manner. This was child abuse and evoked a feelings of self-hatred, self-disgust, guilt and other difficult emotions in the child. The abuse continued – perhaps the adolescent’s first orgasm was in this environment. He developed a trans identity either as part of the grooming process or as another consequence of a desire to escape his body.

Theory 12: Habituated to a Medicalised Existence

This child had a sibling who was often ill and her childhood involved many trips to the hospital. This understanding of how medication is often needed improve a person’s life becomes part of her outlook and when she felt uneasy during adolescence she sought a medical solution. She found out about transitioning online and this felt right to her as she believes there is a ‘pill for every ill’. Transitioning offers her a medical solution to her complex and difficult emotions.

Theory 13: Internalised Homophobia

This child always felt different and shunned the pink, frilly dresses that were often offered as options to wear to parties and events. She felt more comfortable with the boys and likes the rougher, tougher games. When puberty arrived her sexuality was awakened and she fancied other girls. She felt ashamed that she might be a lesbian. She internalised misogyny and homophobia and sought to be more normal. She didn’t know any butch lesbians and had no role models. Transitioned offers her a more acceptable existence.

Theory 14: The Bullied Homosexual

As a child this boy preferred to play with the girls. He enjoyed glitter, fairy dresses and other stereotypically ‘girlish’ pursuits. He never wanted to play with the boys and was often bullied that he was ‘really a girl’. When he discovered that he could transition this seemed like the answer to all his problems. The bullying had left its mark and he wished to be someone else. Transitioning is a way to distance himself from homophobia.

Theory 15: A Consequence of Child Sexual Abuse

This child suffered sexual abuse as a child and has disassociated from her body. She hates her body and she hates her life. She wants to be somebody different; with a different name and a different body. She thinks transitioning offers her an escape into another life.

Theory 16: The Consequence of Misdiagnosis

This child developed Body Dysmorphic Disorder when her breasts developed aged 13 however she has been misdiagnosed and has been diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria. She hates her breasts and is obsessed with getting a mastectomy. She spends many hours a day binding and rebinding her breasts. She hyper-focuses on her chest and spends many hours a day looking in the mirror. Her brain has become fixated on the promise of ‘fixing’ herself. Her desire to transition is based upon a misunderstanding of her distress.

Theory 17: Attachment Issues

This child was adopted when she was a baby and has attachment disorder. The attachment void leads her to becoming immersed in random solutions to life. She has hit upon transitioning as a way to be somebody else and then she will no longer feel empty inside. She believes that transitioning will provide her with personal transformation.

Theory 18: A Manifestation of Inner Rage

This child felt safe and secure at home however the child is psychologically enmeshed with his mother and has a complex love/hate relationship with her. One or both parents were anxious and quite controlling while the child was immature and the child learnt to look to the parents for every decision. After puberty the child felt increasingly angry as his attempts to become independent were sabotaged by his controlling parents. The parents believe the child was incompetent and they needed to step in or he would fail at everything. During adolescence the child sought refuge in video games and social media. The child identifies as trans in a bid to individuate from his parents.

Theory 19: A Consequence of being ASD

This quiet, gentle, creative child was diagnosed with ASD as a child. He has always had difficulty responding to social norms and doesn’t understand social cues. Puberty has been difficult for this child as he feels his body is increasingly out of control. This child doesn’t identify with the sporty boys in his classroom and is more comfortable among the quiet and artistic girls in his class. He identifies as a girl as he is prone to black and white thinking and believes that since he doesn’t feel like a boy, he must really be a girl. He has developed a fixation on his body hair and he spends many hours in the bathroom daily removing all the hair on his body. Transitioning offers him a solution to feeling perpetually uneasy.

Theory 20: Gender Identity Theory

The child has an innate gender identity and should have transitioned as early as possible. All ensuing psychological problems are as a direct consequence of unconscious or conscious transphobia within the child or within society. The child has become the victim of a transphobic society.

Theory 21: The Biological Model

The child gravitates towards the opposite sex as a consequence of an influx of hormones as a foetus in her mother’s womb or as a result of a hormonal conditions such as poly-cystic ovarian syndrome or a difference of sex development. The consequences are far-reaching; for example it is difficult to be a hairy girl and it feels like an appropriate step to identify as a guy instead.

Theory 22: Queer Theory

The adolescent became intellectually absorbed in Queer Theory and identifies as trans as an individual response to their world. Appealing to their inner rebel, trans identification offers them an opportunity to reject the status quo and move to a different beat of the drum.

Theory 23: Transmaxxer

The young man identifies as a woman in a bid to have a better life. He wants to be treated better and his online world has led him to believe that he will be treated better if he is a woman. He may think he is somehow failing as a man and so it would be better to be a woman. He is unhappy and he identifies as a woman as he believes life will be easier if he is a woman.

Theory 24: The Developmental Model

Sometime during their development from child to adolescent to adult, the child develops gender dysphoria as a maladaptive coping mechanism to the complexities of their emotions. She identifies as trans as a way to channel her emotions and land on a clear resolution.

Theory 25: The Biopsychosocial and Spiritual Model:

The child is a combination of many or all the theories listed as life is unknowably complex. Trans-identification could be a biological propensity; it could be psychologically-based; it could be socially-induced; it could also be as a consequence of a spiritual search. We contain multitudes.