I’ve worked in education for several years now. Previously as a Secondary School Biology Teacher, and for the past 4 years in the University Higher Education sector. The situation is dire. Students are so utterly pandered to. They are most educated in the fact it seems, that they can claim offence, distress or trauma at the drop of a hat because it will strike fear into staff that have no way to contest it (I’ve heard way too many times how ‘traumatised’ students are about events that are no such thing; as a society we are too fond of exaggerating and misusing the English language in order to twist standard and mundane daily happenings into major dramatic events. Completely stretching the truth). Staff are often blamed for students’ failings; personal responsibility isn’t taken and if they complain, the bias of empathy is usually towards them.
Most of my colleagues indulge ‘mental health issues’ because educational institutions are so dogmatic about it. The great thing about facts is they can’t be argued with but feelings and subjective views can be used as a manipulative tool. Quite honestly I remember skipping classes at school and Uni - because that’s what many students will do. Most of us at some point don’t want to go to school or work and would love the opportunity to get out of it. Particularly those with crappy jobs or better things to do. The difference now is the student (or employee) can claim some mental health issue (of questionable diagnosis), whereas back when I was a student there was no excuse for skipping - it was just a fair cop if we were caught; we knew we were taking the p***, it was our fault. Because there was no excuse so readily handed on a plate to us. And this extended to working life thereafter - you got your butt into work or you didn’t get paid.
Our current culture has created a lack of resilience, and encourages self diagnosis which becomes a popular card to use - to claim false victimhood and wear it as a badge of honour. If it wasn’t a badge of honour and it didn’t bring financial or societal benefit then it wouldn’t be a prominent issue. Simply misdiagnosed or over diagnosed. Many have lost perspective and possibly their nerve to tell students it might be better for them not to dwell too much and move on from their circular angst… but parents on the other hand do say this to their children with confidence when they’re pulling a fast one or are catastrophising - it would serve our society much better if we did the same in educational institutions and the workplace. Then maybe we wouldn’t have a society of people constantly obsessing about themselves and focusing inwardly so much. They might then instead just be forced to get out there, and get on with experiencing an authentic life with all the positives and negatives that brings. After all, that’s just life…
I am currently reading The End of Trauma, which notes how society is over estimating the number of cases of PTSD and how important resilience is for all of us. That’s how these diagnoses of mental health disorders feel. Why can’t we just accept the fact that everyone is different?
It's so great that you discuss this. So many parents push back partially out of fear that they may have overdone it. I love what you said in UnHerd here--"But these labels come with a long tail. While diagnosis may bring short-term benefits such as extra help in school and targeted interventions, it can also burden children with a sense of brokenness. As they grow older, many begin to believe their brains are damaged, and that everyone else is gliding through life unscathed.” This all began to unfold for me back in 2010 when living in NYC's busy Upper East Side working as a RN at a prominent hospital and starting our family in my advanced maternal age (that’s what my OB/GYN medical chart said ;-), I started noticing the obsession or trend of labeling kids, and even worse, giving them medicalizing labels. Then we became survivors of the over-the-top competitive preschool admission process. That’s when we discovered what parents were willing to put their children through to get them into the right ‘feeder’ school. The application process was considered life and death; and the judgment on the parent and child during interviews was at panic level. Suddenly, parents were scrutinizing their own child's behavior and developmental status. Foreign language speaking nannies were sought after so their kids could be bi-lingual. Instead of enjoying the early years, parents were comparing their children with other seemingly perfect children. The fight for the coveted kindergarten seat was on and their kids needed a resume. Competitive Type ‘A’ parents were seeking OT/PT and speech therapy for their toddlers to give them an edge. Almost instantly, there was a whole new market for consultants and therapy referrals as developmental milestones became an obsession. Necessary free-time childhood play was being replaced with “proactive” medical appointments and extra enrichment classes. In order to have a more relaxed childhood and family-life, we moved to the west coast. Strangely, the pressure was lower but the medicalizing label service for children had spread. It was too late! The DSM was growing and the pediatric/child-centered speech, occupational, physical and mental therapy curricula became the hot new degree and diploma mill programs. In 2017, I discovered an article in the Washingtonian by Jill Pellittieri titled Should You Send Your Kids to Occupational Therapy? A lot of Washington Parents Are. It put me at ease and summed up what I had been observing. It also led me to the book by Allen Frances called Saving Normal where he states “If you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” Next, add Lord of the Flies level social media apps on the iphone in every preteens hand, combined with Millennials adopting child-led ‘gentle parenting’ and we have the predicament we (not our family, I’m a luddite genX’r that accidentally raised our kids screenfree ;-) are in today.
Regarding the cultural predicament we are in, there are so many smart, thoughtful and capable writers and speakers, such as yourself, that capture the moment and verbalize the big picture so well. In my small way, I support you all and put ideas forward ever so often; but mostly, I’m just glad to find those with common sense contributing in such profound ways. For the sake of all our children, we need clarity. One day we will put our finger on it and when we do, enough people will care about what we found, and the shift back toward balance will occur.
LOVE THIS! Difficultly is NOT a condition that needs treatment!! We so need a cultural reset. The pharmaceutical companies are laughing at us as the billions roll in.
I’ve worked in education for several years now. Previously as a Secondary School Biology Teacher, and for the past 4 years in the University Higher Education sector. The situation is dire. Students are so utterly pandered to. They are most educated in the fact it seems, that they can claim offence, distress or trauma at the drop of a hat because it will strike fear into staff that have no way to contest it (I’ve heard way too many times how ‘traumatised’ students are about events that are no such thing; as a society we are too fond of exaggerating and misusing the English language in order to twist standard and mundane daily happenings into major dramatic events. Completely stretching the truth). Staff are often blamed for students’ failings; personal responsibility isn’t taken and if they complain, the bias of empathy is usually towards them.
Most of my colleagues indulge ‘mental health issues’ because educational institutions are so dogmatic about it. The great thing about facts is they can’t be argued with but feelings and subjective views can be used as a manipulative tool. Quite honestly I remember skipping classes at school and Uni - because that’s what many students will do. Most of us at some point don’t want to go to school or work and would love the opportunity to get out of it. Particularly those with crappy jobs or better things to do. The difference now is the student (or employee) can claim some mental health issue (of questionable diagnosis), whereas back when I was a student there was no excuse for skipping - it was just a fair cop if we were caught; we knew we were taking the p***, it was our fault. Because there was no excuse so readily handed on a plate to us. And this extended to working life thereafter - you got your butt into work or you didn’t get paid.
Our current culture has created a lack of resilience, and encourages self diagnosis which becomes a popular card to use - to claim false victimhood and wear it as a badge of honour. If it wasn’t a badge of honour and it didn’t bring financial or societal benefit then it wouldn’t be a prominent issue. Simply misdiagnosed or over diagnosed. Many have lost perspective and possibly their nerve to tell students it might be better for them not to dwell too much and move on from their circular angst… but parents on the other hand do say this to their children with confidence when they’re pulling a fast one or are catastrophising - it would serve our society much better if we did the same in educational institutions and the workplace. Then maybe we wouldn’t have a society of people constantly obsessing about themselves and focusing inwardly so much. They might then instead just be forced to get out there, and get on with experiencing an authentic life with all the positives and negatives that brings. After all, that’s just life…
I am currently reading The End of Trauma, which notes how society is over estimating the number of cases of PTSD and how important resilience is for all of us. That’s how these diagnoses of mental health disorders feel. Why can’t we just accept the fact that everyone is different?
It's so great that you discuss this. So many parents push back partially out of fear that they may have overdone it. I love what you said in UnHerd here--"But these labels come with a long tail. While diagnosis may bring short-term benefits such as extra help in school and targeted interventions, it can also burden children with a sense of brokenness. As they grow older, many begin to believe their brains are damaged, and that everyone else is gliding through life unscathed.” This all began to unfold for me back in 2010 when living in NYC's busy Upper East Side working as a RN at a prominent hospital and starting our family in my advanced maternal age (that’s what my OB/GYN medical chart said ;-), I started noticing the obsession or trend of labeling kids, and even worse, giving them medicalizing labels. Then we became survivors of the over-the-top competitive preschool admission process. That’s when we discovered what parents were willing to put their children through to get them into the right ‘feeder’ school. The application process was considered life and death; and the judgment on the parent and child during interviews was at panic level. Suddenly, parents were scrutinizing their own child's behavior and developmental status. Foreign language speaking nannies were sought after so their kids could be bi-lingual. Instead of enjoying the early years, parents were comparing their children with other seemingly perfect children. The fight for the coveted kindergarten seat was on and their kids needed a resume. Competitive Type ‘A’ parents were seeking OT/PT and speech therapy for their toddlers to give them an edge. Almost instantly, there was a whole new market for consultants and therapy referrals as developmental milestones became an obsession. Necessary free-time childhood play was being replaced with “proactive” medical appointments and extra enrichment classes. In order to have a more relaxed childhood and family-life, we moved to the west coast. Strangely, the pressure was lower but the medicalizing label service for children had spread. It was too late! The DSM was growing and the pediatric/child-centered speech, occupational, physical and mental therapy curricula became the hot new degree and diploma mill programs. In 2017, I discovered an article in the Washingtonian by Jill Pellittieri titled Should You Send Your Kids to Occupational Therapy? A lot of Washington Parents Are. It put me at ease and summed up what I had been observing. It also led me to the book by Allen Frances called Saving Normal where he states “If you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” Next, add Lord of the Flies level social media apps on the iphone in every preteens hand, combined with Millennials adopting child-led ‘gentle parenting’ and we have the predicament we (not our family, I’m a luddite genX’r that accidentally raised our kids screenfree ;-) are in today.
Thank you for this, it's a really good synopsis of how we came to this point in time
Regarding the cultural predicament we are in, there are so many smart, thoughtful and capable writers and speakers, such as yourself, that capture the moment and verbalize the big picture so well. In my small way, I support you all and put ideas forward ever so often; but mostly, I’m just glad to find those with common sense contributing in such profound ways. For the sake of all our children, we need clarity. One day we will put our finger on it and when we do, enough people will care about what we found, and the shift back toward balance will occur.
LOVE THIS! Difficultly is NOT a condition that needs treatment!! We so need a cultural reset. The pharmaceutical companies are laughing at us as the billions roll in.