Both the UK grooming scandals and the medicalisation of ROGD teens highlight how the visceral reality of body horror drives us to turn away from deeply unsettling truths.
Thank you for drawing this parallel with such clarity and boldness.
In the U.S., many people still haven’t heard of the grooming gang scandals in the UK—coverage is scarce, and when it appears, it’s usually minimized. But the pattern of institutional complicity you describe—of adults looking away, minimizing, silencing—is disturbingly familiar.
We’ve grown up hearing horror stories of grooming by priests, coaches, and cult leaders. Yet the two forms of mass grooming happening today—through ideology and through calculated exploitation—are being enabled under the banner of “inclusion” and “progress.” And social justice slogans have trained parents, educators, and clinicians to suspend instinct, judgment, abandon discernment, and ignore red flags.
I couldn't help but think that parents aren’t just watching this unfold—they’re being groomed too. Just as individual groomers don’t only groom children—but often groom as much of their family circle as possible—our cultural institutions have played a similar role. In many high-profile abuse cases, perpetrators have formed close relationships with parents, offering friendship, financial perks, or social credibility while simultaneously targeting their children. Michael Jackson, for instance, is one of many alleged groomers known to have charmed families as a strategic means of access. The pattern is clear: gain the parents’ trust, disarm their instincts, and then exploit the gap.
Our society is now seeing this replicated on a systemic level. At least when it comes to gender ideology, parents are reassured with words of "inclusion" and "progressive care." As you well know, they’re told not to question, to affirm without hesitation, to medicate without delay. Like all grooming, it works best when those in charge make us doubt our own instincts. In the current scandals, we’re encouraged to believe that skepticism is bigotry and that silence is virtue. All while children are being offered up to institutions and ideologies that are causing them lifelong physical and psychological harm, and most of society is walking by it completely unfazed, or even cheering it on.
I've said this before, but It reminds me of the classic sci-fi film, Invasion of the Body Snatchers. In it, people are slowly replaced by emotionless replicas—and hardly anyone notices. The most chilling part isn’t just the takeover, but how quietly it happens…how ordinary people surrender their humanity while those trying to warn others are cast as unstable or extreme. It’s a story about what happens when conformity silences instinct and critical thinking.
In a very similar way, those of us raising the alarm today are the ones trying to keep something deeply human alive. Ironically, we are the actual “woke” ones—not in the current ideological sense that props up gender identity and queer theory, but in the original, human sense of being awake. Awake to danger, dangerous ideas and dangerous people. Awake to the real human, relational and developmental needs of children. Awake to the cost of staying silent. And still choosing to show up—present, discerning, courageous and protective.
Thank you again for making this very important connection. You are helping so many people, like myself, gain the courage to face and speak about reality. And, as you state, the courage to face what is happening is what will one day help us stop the grooming and exponential harm being done.
I echo all of these comments & your post Stella. It’s a peculiar mix the silence & survival. In order to get by (after 4 years of gender destroying my family) I squash my feelings. I try NOT to feel so that I can get out of bed every day without tears on my pillow. I silence the memories & thoughts in my brain so that I can function. We have to put blankets around our hearts. So this post is good. To acknowledge the pain with understanding & to quell the frustration of not being heard. It’s too much for people. Courage is certainly key & vital if this is ever to end. My friends & sisters are some of the kindest people in the world, yet their advice is to ‘drop it’. I’m viewed as having an unhealthy obsession & advised to get another hobby. Until I can come to terms with accepting my son’s gender change, nothing will be resolved. My pushback is my choice, irrespective of its harm. When I tried to describe the pain & grief of losing my son to my doctor, he responded, don’t you think he feels the same way? I’ve abandoned him…get on board. He truly believes transitioning his patients is the right thing to do. He hadn’t heard of the CASS review (I am in the US) or WPATH or corruption in the endocrine society etc etc. And you are so right about the parallels of Islamophobia to the horrific grooming gang scandal. I think I come away from this understanding I must stop being hurt but still have the courage to follow my instincts & help to stop it from spreading.
I think there is something about gender transition that hits on the survival instinct of the parents, it seems to be so very devastating. Look after yourself, you’ve still got yourself xxx
The comparison is very clearly laid out here. Shocking!!! I have seen a similar pattern with regard to Traveller men targeting “country girls” ie non-Traveller girls also in the past often involving plying them with drugs and alcohol. I have to admit that I was caught napping on the trans issue and only woke up when I noticed women’s sport. I did some typical training where I was informed about the vocabulary - cis, pansexual etc etc etc. somehow I couldn’t confront it in myself - I am gutted about that. All I can say is that I’m fully awake now and I inform ordinary people that I know are the same as I was. I make sure I keep the conversation open with people I know are on the other side because I believe that it only takes a moment to wake up. It’s the most curious experience - like being in denial. I am so thankful to you Stella and all you have don’t and continue to do. I admire you so much - I and not trying to ingratiate. I really mean it - thank you!
Thank you that’s very nice of you. I always find it interesting to hear how people woke up to what’s happening. I think it’s good news that it’s not necessarily fear or cowardice- many people genuinely don’t see the issue
Thank you for drawing this parallel with such clarity and boldness.
In the U.S., many people still haven’t heard of the grooming gang scandals in the UK—coverage is scarce, and when it appears, it’s usually minimized. But the pattern of institutional complicity you describe—of adults looking away, minimizing, silencing—is disturbingly familiar.
We’ve grown up hearing horror stories of grooming by priests, coaches, and cult leaders. Yet the two forms of mass grooming happening today—through ideology and through calculated exploitation—are being enabled under the banner of “inclusion” and “progress.” And social justice slogans have trained parents, educators, and clinicians to suspend instinct, judgment, abandon discernment, and ignore red flags.
I couldn't help but think that parents aren’t just watching this unfold—they’re being groomed too. Just as individual groomers don’t only groom children—but often groom as much of their family circle as possible—our cultural institutions have played a similar role. In many high-profile abuse cases, perpetrators have formed close relationships with parents, offering friendship, financial perks, or social credibility while simultaneously targeting their children. Michael Jackson, for instance, is one of many alleged groomers known to have charmed families as a strategic means of access. The pattern is clear: gain the parents’ trust, disarm their instincts, and then exploit the gap.
Our society is now seeing this replicated on a systemic level. At least when it comes to gender ideology, parents are reassured with words of "inclusion" and "progressive care." As you well know, they’re told not to question, to affirm without hesitation, to medicate without delay. Like all grooming, it works best when those in charge make us doubt our own instincts. In the current scandals, we’re encouraged to believe that skepticism is bigotry and that silence is virtue. All while children are being offered up to institutions and ideologies that are causing them lifelong physical and psychological harm, and most of society is walking by it completely unfazed, or even cheering it on.
I've said this before, but It reminds me of the classic sci-fi film, Invasion of the Body Snatchers. In it, people are slowly replaced by emotionless replicas—and hardly anyone notices. The most chilling part isn’t just the takeover, but how quietly it happens…how ordinary people surrender their humanity while those trying to warn others are cast as unstable or extreme. It’s a story about what happens when conformity silences instinct and critical thinking.
In a very similar way, those of us raising the alarm today are the ones trying to keep something deeply human alive. Ironically, we are the actual “woke” ones—not in the current ideological sense that props up gender identity and queer theory, but in the original, human sense of being awake. Awake to danger, dangerous ideas and dangerous people. Awake to the real human, relational and developmental needs of children. Awake to the cost of staying silent. And still choosing to show up—present, discerning, courageous and protective.
Thank you again for making this very important connection. You are helping so many people, like myself, gain the courage to face and speak about reality. And, as you state, the courage to face what is happening is what will one day help us stop the grooming and exponential harm being done.
Thanks Evelyn, I love your contributions.
I echo all of these comments & your post Stella. It’s a peculiar mix the silence & survival. In order to get by (after 4 years of gender destroying my family) I squash my feelings. I try NOT to feel so that I can get out of bed every day without tears on my pillow. I silence the memories & thoughts in my brain so that I can function. We have to put blankets around our hearts. So this post is good. To acknowledge the pain with understanding & to quell the frustration of not being heard. It’s too much for people. Courage is certainly key & vital if this is ever to end. My friends & sisters are some of the kindest people in the world, yet their advice is to ‘drop it’. I’m viewed as having an unhealthy obsession & advised to get another hobby. Until I can come to terms with accepting my son’s gender change, nothing will be resolved. My pushback is my choice, irrespective of its harm. When I tried to describe the pain & grief of losing my son to my doctor, he responded, don’t you think he feels the same way? I’ve abandoned him…get on board. He truly believes transitioning his patients is the right thing to do. He hadn’t heard of the CASS review (I am in the US) or WPATH or corruption in the endocrine society etc etc. And you are so right about the parallels of Islamophobia to the horrific grooming gang scandal. I think I come away from this understanding I must stop being hurt but still have the courage to follow my instincts & help to stop it from spreading.
I think there is something about gender transition that hits on the survival instinct of the parents, it seems to be so very devastating. Look after yourself, you’ve still got yourself xxx
Thankyou Stella
We Need to name the horrors and the parallels are so clear
So much double speak and obfuscation in professions and wider culture
The comparison is very clearly laid out here. Shocking!!! I have seen a similar pattern with regard to Traveller men targeting “country girls” ie non-Traveller girls also in the past often involving plying them with drugs and alcohol. I have to admit that I was caught napping on the trans issue and only woke up when I noticed women’s sport. I did some typical training where I was informed about the vocabulary - cis, pansexual etc etc etc. somehow I couldn’t confront it in myself - I am gutted about that. All I can say is that I’m fully awake now and I inform ordinary people that I know are the same as I was. I make sure I keep the conversation open with people I know are on the other side because I believe that it only takes a moment to wake up. It’s the most curious experience - like being in denial. I am so thankful to you Stella and all you have don’t and continue to do. I admire you so much - I and not trying to ingratiate. I really mean it - thank you!
Thank you that’s very nice of you. I always find it interesting to hear how people woke up to what’s happening. I think it’s good news that it’s not necessarily fear or cowardice- many people genuinely don’t see the issue