Haha! I love that about parents not being the first to say something. I hear my daughter say she had a lightbulb moment when so-and-so said this, when in fact, I said it 8 months ago! All about the long game. Thanks, Stella!
I'm wondering if you have some for parents of possible desisters as well? I've seen a drastic shift in my daughter over recent months, but none of us in the family are sure and none of us have dared to outright ask so far. It started with her giving permission to use female pronouns again while adding they still weren't her preference (we'd all been avoiding any pronouns at all), continued with removing the trans flags from her room, and continued again with introducing herself by her birth name on multiple occasions. Now there are earrings, too (but still male clothes). Overall, her personality is coming back and the persona seems to be on its way out.
We're all itching to ask her "so, are you done with this now?", but something is stopping us. One sibling believes she is still deep into gender but hiding it, but the rest of the family tentatively hopes it's over.
Can we ask? When? Or is it better to just let it rest and operate as if it is over now?
Thanks, that would be very helpful! For now, I'm choosing to focus on "catching up" and connecting in ways that were impossible at the height of gender. I don't want to reintroduce that heavier atmosphere by mentioning it and I want my daughter to be able to save face, but I also know I won't truly breathe a sigh of relief until I hear it from the horse's mouth, as it were.
I've listened to all the Gender: A Wider Lens podcasts, including your comments on the topic, and I've been biting my lip, avoiding saying anything about my daughter's appearance or the disappearance of the flags, because of it.
If it's really over, I am also looking for tips on mending shattered relationships, including between siblings (one of whom became very gender critical).
Haha! I love that about parents not being the first to say something. I hear my daughter say she had a lightbulb moment when so-and-so said this, when in fact, I said it 8 months ago! All about the long game. Thanks, Stella!
That was great advice!
I'm wondering if you have some for parents of possible desisters as well? I've seen a drastic shift in my daughter over recent months, but none of us in the family are sure and none of us have dared to outright ask so far. It started with her giving permission to use female pronouns again while adding they still weren't her preference (we'd all been avoiding any pronouns at all), continued with removing the trans flags from her room, and continued again with introducing herself by her birth name on multiple occasions. Now there are earrings, too (but still male clothes). Overall, her personality is coming back and the persona seems to be on its way out.
We're all itching to ask her "so, are you done with this now?", but something is stopping us. One sibling believes she is still deep into gender but hiding it, but the rest of the family tentatively hopes it's over.
Can we ask? When? Or is it better to just let it rest and operate as if it is over now?
I will do a video on this!
Thanks, that would be very helpful! For now, I'm choosing to focus on "catching up" and connecting in ways that were impossible at the height of gender. I don't want to reintroduce that heavier atmosphere by mentioning it and I want my daughter to be able to save face, but I also know I won't truly breathe a sigh of relief until I hear it from the horse's mouth, as it were.
I've listened to all the Gender: A Wider Lens podcasts, including your comments on the topic, and I've been biting my lip, avoiding saying anything about my daughter's appearance or the disappearance of the flags, because of it.
If it's really over, I am also looking for tips on mending shattered relationships, including between siblings (one of whom became very gender critical).