Thinking back to our October 2021 conversation with Helena—it’s hard to overstate how impactful that episode was, both for us and for so many listeners. That was part one of a powerful two-part series with Helena, a then-23-year-old detransitioned woman who had become known online for her sharp, articulate insights into the FtM trans teen experience.
Helena called herself a “gender apostate,” and it was clear why—she spoke openly about her own transition at 15, the disillusionment that set in by 19, and the difficult path of detransitioning, especially when her closest relationships didn’t support her choice.
She brought such a unique perspective on how things like critical social justice, fandom culture, and the dynamics of teenage identity formation all played into her experience. I still think about her reflections on “shipping” culture, Tumblr, and how teen girls’ fascination with gay male relationships played into identity exploration in ways that most people don’t even realise.
One of the things that really stuck with me was how isolated she felt, and how deeply she wanted to escape the discomfort of being female—only to find that pretending to be masculine was its own kind of exhaustion. Her honesty about the psychological toll of suppressing her femininity still resonates.
Looking back, that episode was a striking blend of personal story and cultural critique. Helena gave us a rare window into the mindset so many young people are grappling with today—and she did it with courage, clarity, and a lot of grace.
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